Couch questionnaire

Please, respond to the following questionnaire with the highest degree of honesty and integrity in the space provided*:

Legend: 1 - not relevant; 2 - somewhat relevant; 3 - agree; 4 - mostly not agree; 5 - completely disagree

To the open-ended questions, please reply with a sentence. The open ended question you can determine by the presence of words like: what, when, who, how, why, where.

Question number Question

1 Race

2 Sex

3 Are you gay?
a) If the answer to this question is "yes" and you are male, you may stop filling out the application form as you will not be granted the access to the couch;
b) If the answer to this question is "yes" and you are female, you are required to also bring your friend with you.

4 What is your political preferences?

5 Nationality

6 Ethnicity

7 What is your religious beliefs? And how often do you worship?

8 Why do you think god is better than evil?

9 Why do you think evil is better than god?

10 Do you like Chinese government?

11 Height

12 Weight

13 For girls: the breast size

14 Do you plan to overthrow Mauritian government?

15 Do you have an intention to overthrow any government?

16 Do you use any drugs?

17 Are you allergic to any medical experiments?

18 When was the last time you had sex? How many years ago? And how often would you prefer to have sex?

19 When was the last time you made love with a human of the opposite sex?

20 What is your favorite song of Marlene Dietrich?

21 What is your favorite part of a female body? Be as specific as possible.

22 How do you think this information will be used?

23 You should respond "yes" to this question: Do you agree to allow the owner of the questionnaire to use the information about the applicant for potential espionage, blackmailing, purchase-sale of the personal information?

24 Passport number

25 Who is your favorite movie actor and why?

26 How often do you watch German movies about fast love?

27 Who won the last Eurovision contest? What do you mean you don’t know what is Eurovision?

28 Why do you think Romania was excepted to EU?

29 What is the name of the country which is situated on the outskirts of Canada and Mexico?

30 How long do you think you will be living with such disgusting lifestyle? Have you already purchased a place at the cemetery? If no, you should.

31 Which is your favorite planet?

32 How much is the fish?

33 Why do think the sun gets up early in the morning and sets late in the evening?

34 What is the main reason for the differences in people?

35 Are you supporting Darwin's theory or the theory of 7 productive days when everything was created superefficiently by a creator?

36 What was Adolf Hitler major mistake in WWII?

37 Do you think Joseph Stalin is a hero or anti hero? Justify.

38 Have you ever had similar experience as in Madonna video Justify my love?

39 How many humps does the camel have?

40 When did you smoke weed last time? Can you get some? And for how much?

41 Why do you think the progress is bad for the humankind?

42 Who or what were you in your previous life?

43 If you could you the time machine where and when would you go?

44 Why do you think Kosovo should be removed from the map of Europe?

45 How many languages do you speak and why?

46 What is your favorite subject at school?

47 When did you have your first sexual experience with a human of an opposite sex?

48 What is your favorite color of skin?

49 What makes the Prodigy one of the most outstanding bands in the history of music?

50 How many times have you participated in collective gatherings the primary purpose of which was the multiple penetrations of your peers of the same sex or opposite sex with the main goal to release the fantasies or childhood dreams in various shallow parts of one's body?

51 Which question out this questionnaire you like the most?

52 I agree that this information presents true and fair view of my identity. And that I presented the information as truthfully as possible. Please, write: "AGREED" and sign with your signature (the one you sign the bills in your credit card with"

Failure to respond truly to one of the question may result in the third world war and / or significant international or local / ethnic / racial / sexual conflict with a lot of blood, corpes, bowels and gliding vultures in the aftermath